Once I was circulating around my art room during a third grade class, when I overheard two girls loudly gossiping about an incident with another student who was sitting not so far away from them in the room. My ears weren’t the only ones perking up to the conversation, and as other students quieted and the gossiping continued I could feel tensions rising in the room. When dealing with this same dilemma in the past, I’ve often publicly confronted the students and asked that they only speak positively of their peers. But often when I do this, students come up with excuses, or appear to harbor some kind of resentment toward me for reprimanding them. All of the sudden, instead of drawing attention away from the negativity, my entire classroom is now attentively listening to a new student-teacher conflict as it unfolds.
On this particular day, I took a slightly different approach. I stopped by the table and carefully looked at the painting of a girl next to them and exclaimed, “Sydney! These buildings are just fantastic - all the different shades of gray you used to make the windows really help to make them pop!” The once-gossiping girls paused from their conversation and leaned over to see her painting and agreed. I asked Sydney to explain the techniques she used to the other students and walked away. With just one positive comment, I was not only able to reinforce the technical skills Sydney was using to create her picture - I was also able to redirect the focus of her peers away from gossip and back onto what I wanted them to be thinking of in the first place - their art. Later on in the class, I pulled the two students aside to let them know how their gossiping made me and others uncomfortable. In this more private context, the conversation felt like less of a public attack, and the discussion was much more comfortable for all of us.
Just like in our everyday lives, when we pay special attention to the things we like, that we are grateful for, and that are going well for us, they seem to multiply and flourish. But likewise, when our attention remains solely focused on the things that bother us, we find ourselves sucked into a spiral of negativity, where almost everything appears flawed or against us. This spiral of negative thinking can be absolutely toxic in a classroom environment. It reminds me of a sign we used to have in my house growing up that read, “If mama aint happy, aint nobody happy.” You could say the same of teachers. Your relationship with students can thrive or wither depending on the attitude you carry on any given day.
According to research, teachers are most effective when they spend more of their time focusing on good behavior than they do responding to negative behavior.[1] This idea applies not just to a classroom but really any leadership role and even marriage. John Gottman, a famous psychologist who studies relationships and is most famous for his peer reviewed studies on marriage and divorce, found that the “magical ratio” for happy marriages involved both parties making 5 positive comments to every 1 negative comment.[2] Other research demonstrates that humans are more likely to remember negative comments than positive ones. Even when you’ve had a relatively fine day with multiple positive encounters, it can only take a single negative encounter to suddenly feel as though you’re having the worst day ever. Why? Scientists hypothesize that we are biologically engineered to take negative stimuli more “seriously” due to our self-preservation instincts.[3]
If you think about your most difficult students and the sheer amount of corrections and negative statements you and others may be making about them throughout the day, it isn’t so hard to imagine why this child might dread coming into school. Students who are already anticipating that their class time will be unpleasant and unengaging for them are not going to be particularly excited or focused when they arrive. Having already received a great deal of negative feedback throughout the day, they may be on-edge and more likely to have a hysterical reaction to your next correction. Or they could simply be defiant and numbed to your feedback altogether. Finding the one thing this student has done well or improved upon and vocalizing it can go an incredibly long way. I might surprise them by texting their parent a picture of the project they did that day, (something I’ve found to be extremely effective) or publicly shout them out for the perseverance they showed on a math problem. The more confidence you show in their ability to execute what you need them to do, the more confidence they will have in themselves.
When making corrections, I can still try and frame them in a positive way. Dozens of parenting books and blog posts encourage people to say and show kids what they want their children to do, rather than just tell them what they don’t. For example, instead of saying, “Don’t be so messy with your paint,” I can say, “Make sure you’re just using the tip of your brush to get the paint. See?” and demonstrate exactly what I want. Or instead of saying, “Stop talking,” I can say, “Once you’re standing silently, we can enter the room.”
Another key to the implementation of both positive reinforcement and responding to negative behavior is consistency. I want to avoid making empty threats and follow through with predictable consequences for infractions. Whenever I introduce a new material, I always remind students that when we repeatedly fail to use them correctly, we lose the opportunity to use them. If I fail to implement a consequence I have stated to the class - because I’m stressed or burnt out, because I don’t want to deal with a child’s tantrum if they’re forced to face the consequence, whatever it is - not only can this come across as favoritism and unfairness, it can also teach the children of your class that “no” doesn’t actually mean “no,” and that all conseqeunces are actually up for debate.[4]
In my classroom, we have a “send out” procedure in partnership with the “Culture” team at my school. If a student does something minor, they’re given a warning. If the behavior continues, they are asked to write a reflection. If they refuse, we also give them the option of completing the reflection in a different classroom and then returning. As a last resort, we call the “SFA” office, where the student will either have to miss a peer lunch (they still get to eat in the office) or recess, have a phone call home, and will be required to finish their work and the reflection before they are allowed to leave. But though these consequences are available, it is up to individual teachers to make sure they are being as consistent as possible in implementing each consequence.
One of my biggest struggles as an art teacher is how to deal with students who misbehave at the very end of class. Holding students accountable for behaviors that occur just as they are leaving the room requires maintaining excellent communication with the homeroom teacher, the students parents, and taking detailed notes. When students don’t clean up at the end of class for instance, I need to take down their name and make sure there is some kind of follow-up action if I want to see an improvement in their behavior. This is one of the most difficult challenges for me as a “specials” teacher.
I’ve been asked to make a flowchart for how I will respond to different behaviors in my room - but I don’t honestly find flowcharts particularly useful. When handling 30 different children, I’m not going to remember to consult a chart for how I respond to behavior. Instead, I’ve come up with some general rules to hold myself accountable and to make sure I’m continuing to use positive reinforcement even when the going gets tough. Here are the “Golden Rules of Reinforcement” that I have created for myself.
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[1] Walker, H., Ramsey, E., & Gresham, F. (2004). Antisocial behavior in schools: Evidence-based practices (2nd ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.
[2] Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (2014). Why marriages succeed or fail. London: Bloomsbury Paperbacks.
[3] Thompson, A. (2007, September 05). Bad Memories Stick Better Than Good. Retrieved December 09, 2017, from https://www.livescience.com/1827-bad-memories-stick-good.html
[4] "No" Means "No": The Importance of Consistency. (n.d.). Retrieved December 09, 2017, from http://www.educationworld.com/a_curr/columnists/jones/jones029.shtml